Today, today, today...

[lithera]

I hate it when I get the feeling that people are just tollerating me. I know I'm paranoid. It is something I deal with and isn't normally a big deal but there are some days where I just know that people are putting up with me for whatever reason and blah, blah, blah. Looking back through my life, it is sort of amazing to see how much my life has been shaped by my rather low level paranoia. I have no idea how people who are seriously afflicted get on with living. Probably medication.

(And yes, this generally comes out more for those of you I relate to primarily on-line. It is much harder for me to look at you and /see/ if I'm annoying you. So, I have to actually ask. And then I worry if I'm asking that too much and I get all quiet and don't say anything for awhile. Yeah. I know. It's stupid. I'm working on it.)

Speaking of medication, I'm going to the doctor today. What I'm hoping will come of this is them telling me that it is my allergies that are kicking me around and nothing more serious than that. I've had a low level headache for about a million years now, to the point where I don't really notice it most of the time but it is still annoying. I'm coughing and sniffling and sneezing and generally feel as though I've had a minor sinus... thing for months now too. On top of all of that, there is a faint ringing in my ears as well as the general feelings of fatigue.

So.... We'll see if there is a complete picture there to be seen for a doctor or not. *sighs*

Paypal has defeated me. If anyone knows how to set up a donation thingy there, let me know?

And my PIRATE QUEEN (Lys) has worn away at me and I put myself out into the online meatmarket and we shall see what comes of it. OOoOoOoOO. I find it amusing that I get NO MATCHES when I put in what I really think I want.

There was something else I was going to talk about here but I can't remember what it was. I'll probably remember sometime later today when it does me no good at all.

I need new icons.

Comments

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

*raises hand*

You are not in any fashion annoying me. Just so you know. :)

*puts hand down again and hugs* :)

[lithera.livejournal.com]

Thanks, sweetie.

I /know/ that is likely the same for everyone. It just doesn't ... filter all the way through to some bits of me for some reason.

[sepulchrave.livejournal.com]

hahah, 'no matches' ---good luck with that honey!

[lithera.livejournal.com]

I find it amusing that when I tell Match.com what I really want it tells me that it doesn't have anyone like that within 50 miles.

[sepulchrave.livejournal.com]

heeheehee. but also frustrating I bet!

[torquemada.livejournal.com]

I am not merely tolerating you. Just... omg busy and stressed. Sigh.

Wanna do lunch sometime? Maybe Monday or Tuesday of next week? I'm out of town for almost a week starting next Thursday, but could do something after. I'm still working in the Financial District.

[lithera.livejournal.com]

Aren't we all?

I'm in Columbia Tower now. I'm up for lunch... lemme look at the calendar.... Monday is certainly better than Tuesday.

Huzzah!

[lysistratah.livejournal.com]

Bravo for braving the wonderful world of online dating!

My powers of persuasion are limitless! Some day, my herd of mongol war ponies shall ride over the remains of all those who have opposed my benevolent rule!

*ahem*

Excuse me. I don't know what came over me.

So, my personal (albiet dated - ba-dum cha) experiences with the online dating suggest that a) don't be too picky with the standards. (Not everyone is good at writing a dating profile.) and b) who cares? JUST DO IT, as the ads teach us, and worst case scenario, you get an amusing anecdote out of it.

Actually, that's not true. What you really get is the experience of psyching yourself up, worrying about what to wear again, paying attention to your hair in ways you've utterly forgotton about, and otherwise psychologically making yourself available to the opposite sex. I usually went out with 10 - 14 people before I found someone I actually liked. I don't regret a single one of the dud dates. They were great for building up my self esteem, getting me out of the house, and reminding me what I really did have to offer.

GO KAT!

Re: Huzzah!

[lithera.livejournal.com]

ARRRR pirate woman!

Like I said, we'll see what happens with this and where it goes but... there. It is out there at least.

Re: Huzzah!

[lysistratah.livejournal.com]

Tsk, tsk! It doesn't count if you don't actually go out with someone.

If it makes you feel any better, Match.com wasn't the hot shit it is now back in my day. I used the yahoo.com dating profiles. They had NO STANDARDS. I'm not kidding. I had to wade through an awful lot of, "yo bitch, you wanna ride my giant black cock" before finding the occasional, "likes SF, bad movies..." profile.

[seanb.livejournal.com]

Good for your pirate queen. Good for you. Not really surprised about the NO MATCHES bit, but that all ties in to the underlying reasons why you are resorting to the online meat market again, right? I mean, you tend to do a lot to adapt yourself to the people you are with, so it's understandable that for this kind of thing you will want somebody that is a sufficiently close fit that you don't need to adapt so much, so that you can actually relax that part of yourself.

I'm speculating wildly and probably dancing close to the borderline of being offensive. I'll shut up now, but I'm glad to see you giving this another try.

[lithera.livejournal.com]

Nah. That makes plenty of sense to me, actually.

[lysistratah.livejournal.com]

Just to get all her fears out of the way:

Worst date: Purple haired pre-op transexual. S/he wanted to go out for Ethopian food and a nice nipple piercing. I've milked YEARS of anecdotes out of this one, so no regrets. These days, profiles all have photos. Lucky you.

Best date:
No physical chemistry AT ALL, but we hit it off on a friendly level instantly. We spent all night joking, swapping stories, and hanging out with no pressure or expectation of anything else (because really, we could tell at first sight nothing was ever going to happen). It was a blast.

Two days later, feeling good about myself and fond of the world in general, I met someone special in real life. He'd been there for awhile, but we'd never noticed one another before. I believe VERY STRONGLY in the "get your head in the game" philosophy.

I'd like to add that three very happy couples I know here in town met through Match.com. All of them have a long list of dud dates before they met one another. (In fact, I met several of the duds while they were going through the process.) Don't let a single less than perfect experience dissuade you. It's HARD to meet new people once you're out of college. You're not alone.

[thezzyzx.livejournal.com]

"I hate it when I get the feeling that people are just tollerating me. I know I'm paranoid. It is something I deal with and isn't normally a big deal but there are some days where I just know that people are putting up with me for whatever reason and blah, blah, blah. "

I know how that is. Believe me, I know. I go back and forth between obsessing about that and forcing myself to not care.

As for online dating, I once tried placing an ad in The Stranger in 96 or 97. I got no responses at all. That didn't do the ego much good. Fortunately, I just was doing it out of curiousity to see what would happen more than anything.

[lithera.livejournal.com]

*laughs*

I think about doing that too from time to time. They have this whole .... service thing now.

[princessgeek.livejournal.com]

Thank goodness I met Tim in person. Otherwise we never would have met. (I didn't click "Asian" on my Match.com profile *shrug*)
My point: shit. I don't know. Why the hell do I need a point? hah. I never need a point, I can talk about myself all day.

[lithera.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't click any of the race ones because I've had crushes on people of all ethnicities. (One of the benefits of growing up everywhere in the world.) I also tend not to choose religions, either, since... well... I figure that's something to talk about all else fails, right?

I'm Paranoid Too. I've got a pain in all the diodes running down my left side.

[m00t.livejournal.com]

Wait, wait. You mean other people feel that way, too?

And here I thought people were merely tolerating *my* existence.

Let's do dinner, k?
*mucho hugs*

I know I've been a little, er, distant to everyone recently. I need to undo that before I slump.

You've never annoyed me, for the record. :)

Re: I'm Paranoid Too. I've got a pain in all the diodes running down my left side.

[lithera.livejournal.com]

Sure. When is good for you?

[richardjgrayson.livejournal.com]

If anything, I'm the annoying one around here. ;)

Don't sweat it with me. I've always got time for you.

[lithera.livejournal.com]

*snugs*

I know, sweetie. I put these things up not expecting people to sympathize or anything but more as to explain. Because I'm confusing. *grins*

Reverse-order multi-response GO!

[jameel.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised you haven't met anyone at a Con. You go to a couple a year, right?

I'm definitely feeling you on that post-college difficulty meeting people. I mean, I wasted my college years being crazy so I didn't actually meet anyone, but I see now that I could've much easier than after college.

My allergies have been nailing me with pretty much the same symptoms you describe, except for "itchy" ears rather than ringing ears.

No mere tolerance here. If I don't respond to something, it's because I simply have nothing to say.

Re: Reverse-order multi-response GO!

[lithera.livejournal.com]

I meet neat people at Cons just no one that is a) single or b) not intereested in me. Or so it seems.

The doctor thinks it is my allergies. I hope it is my allergies and the meds I'm on help out. If nt I must go back for the evil bloodwork.

[littledrow.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Been there with the paranoia thing. That's a tough one.

As for Match.com...a friend of mine did their profile thing and came up with the same answer you got. He put it this way: "Nope. We got nothing you picky bastard. Try god." ;)

Listen to Lys though. The Lys is wise.

[lithera.livejournal.com]

Paranoia suxks. Bleh.

Heh. Well, I haven't talked to God about it yet because... well.. That is sort of like wishing for me. When I do it, I have to be prepared for what I get... and I'm never prepared for what I get.