Yes, oh yes...

[lithera]

I'm coming to realize that people are still getting to me. I'm starting to notice that I'm super sensative to some people in particular and not entirely for reasons I understand. The slightest comment from some people and I have to grit my teeth and not snap at them. They haven't said or done anything wrong... It's just me. There are just a few people who I'm getting this reaction to but it is...

... well, it is putting me off human interaction in groups larger than four. I've found four is a comfortable number.

The next step is to find out what it is that is triggering the reaction. Is it the people? Is it the comments? Is it the tone in which they're said? It doesn't seem to be something brought on by people I don't know. (Evidenced at Kevin's party.) Or maybe those people aren't making the right comments.

Don't know yet. Time to figure it out.

Maybe I'll go see a movie tonight. I just know (at least right now) I don't want to go home after work. And I know Mike is having his games thing but I don't want to go there either. I don't know where I /do/ want to go but maybe there is something playing around 5 that I can go see.

I'll think about it today some more.

Comments

[pullthestars.livejournal.com]

sorry if I came across as surly this morning. I slept for CRAP last night, and was running around all spacey and hurried. lemme know if there's anything I can do.

[lithera.livejournal.com]

Nah. It wasn't anything this morning. I was just sorry I was in there so long. If I'd known, I would have been faster. I've just realized that my knee jerk reaction to some things is to snap at people and that's not a good one to have.

I think... and I'm not sure on this yet... I think the reaction is coming from statements made by others that I preceive to be judgements of me. I feel the need to defend myself from them and it all seems to be in a snappish manner.

I'm not sure yet but that is the direction things are pointing at the moment. Need to think about it some more and then figure out what to do.

[pullthestars.livejournal.com]

I should have said something, but was taking a bit for me to actually be able to formulate coherant thoughts :) If I had been thinking, I would have got some breakfast while waiting. but no biggie... I got where I needed to go in plenty of time.

think... and I'm not sure on this yet... I think the reaction is coming from statements made by others that I preceive to be judgements of me.. I feel the need to defend myself from them and it all seems to be in a snappish manner.

heeeey... you sound an awful lot like me! I get that way a lot, as you've probably noticed... What I'm finding I have to do is evaluate where my knee-jerk reaction is coming from... is it happening because the person is honestly making a judgement of me, and just doesn't want to come out and say it? is it happening because, say, I haven't had dinner yet and low blood sugar is making me cranky? Taking a deep breath before saying anything can help to make statements come out less snappish. And don't be afraid to ask someone whether the statement was made as a judgement or not.

[lithera.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I've been doing my best to isolate what I'm doing and when I'm doing it. I'm trying to figure out if it is just certain people or a certain way things are said... I don't know yet. I'm not to the point of asking people about these things yet. Still trying to do internal analysis. I'll get there.

You should watch the World's Finest fan film I linked to.