The Kat&#39;s Journal

New people, new ideas. Interesting concept. Everyone is a combination of his or her own experiences. Those experiences can start to rub off on others.

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That and after awhile everyone starts to get a specific idea of a person in their head. It is human nature, from what I can tell. Sometimes you need a new perspective from somewhere to allow yourself to break out of the molds you've created for yourself and for others.

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That would fall under first impressions. Say something weird and you might be pegged as weird forever with that person. And new people do tend to break people out the molds they are in. IT's good for people.

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Yes and no. It does happen with first impressions, certainly. I've found that after I've known someone a few years that I've built up a set of expectations for that person based on previous encounters.

I like to break those down from time to time.

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That is also true. When you see someone who is known to do certain things, you maybe expect that person to be a certain way all the time. That's where doing something different will help. Put that person into a different environment then you have come to recognize him/her and you might see different parts to their personality.

For example, you may be one way at a party but a completely different way at work. Someone who knows you at a party may not recognize you at work.

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Certainly. Sometimes it is just hard to find those different circumstances or to expand past what you already no. Pushing boundaries can be scary but typically worthwhile.

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Yes, breaking out of a comfortable rut is very tough. I know that for me, it can be a herculean effort to get me out of my comfort zone.

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Oh yeah. It is so hard for me to get out of my comofrt zone. It is almost always easier for me to find someone to push me out of it than for me to push myself out.

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And even then, it can be tough for me to do something different. Sometimes, finding me is the toughest part of all.

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I hear that. Sometimes as soon as I'm out of my comfort zone I put up a persona, a mask and it isn't me out there at all, thus ruining the point of the effort in the first place.

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And the persona depends on what is perceived to be expected of you. If the people you're with want wild and crazy, you give them that. I know that because I am the same way.

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Knowing people too much was never on my list of things I thoght possible. But it has been known to happen. Even to me.

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It's not even really knowing people too much. There are very few people I can say that about, honestly. And even those people I could probably learn more about.

It is more like getting caught up in rote interactions. After awhile humans drift towards what is comfortable. In order for me to get out of that there needs to be a spark of change. To do that, I either need new people and new patterns or I need to specifically start a new pattern with someone, which is more challenging.

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Habbits are hard to break. Even if your the kind of person who dosn't see them actually happening. It's hard to analyze yourself and see what it is that you do without thinking. Because the whole point of it being a habbit is that you aren't thinking about it.

I'm really in the process of making habbits that are on purpose, instead of accidental ones and dealing with all the mystifying concequences that they produce. And that isn't even including other people. It bogles what little of my mind I have left to myself. I guess I'm working on the flip side and trying to have something rote.

If for no other reason than the freedom of not thinking about it.

We are the tinkers of our thoughts.

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I know where you're at. What you're doing is something like what I did when I hit my big depression. I found everything I did by habit or instinct and broke it down until I figured out the why and then I built good ones back up, a lot of them defense mechanisms.

Having somethings rote is good.

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...a lot of them defense mechanisms.

I hear ya, do I ever. My cranky little post the other day was all about the defense mechanisim kicking in.. no wait, out.. no wait in... and out again.

No system is failsafe, and it's important to be flexible. And in some places that's not my strongsuit. I was admitedly less freaky because of those little habbits I've been trying to cultivate. Clearly some bugs still to be worked out there.

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There are always bug to be worked out. As much as I would like to think I've planned for everything, it is impossible to do. And in the end, that's a great thing.

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Beleiving that you won't shrivel up and die despite disaster is the great thing. Disaster is just, well, disaster. And the conversation about on who's fault disaster belongs is something else entirely. How many times do we set ourselves up for trouble because we can't see ourselves and how we sabotoge our own efforts? It will come out eventually what we are and aren't capable of. And we dont' always have to like it.

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*snugs*

If you never push what you're capable of, you'll never find the limits either. It's one of those things. And a little distaster now and then... It ends up being a healthy thing. Or well, it /can/ end up being a healthy thing.

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Mmmm Pain. It reminds us of wear our armor is thin. And perhaps those places where armor just *ahem* shouldn't go. You will be pushed. You will be tested. You will most likely survive. Because the trials before us are only hard because of what we do and what we allow into ourselves, into our lives.

The rediculous part is that you can change it anytime you like. Any time you want to recognise that nothing is set in stone. Not even stone. We can take the hardest things and shape them into a monument of our acomplishments. It's just weather or not you know how to use the tools.

And how to sharpen then when the inevitably dull.

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Thank you for the smile. I don't know why but that made me smile.

I like to say, "That which doesn't kill us makes us stranger." It isn't to say that we aren't stronger as well but we are shaped by our experiences and no two people come out of something the same way.

Are you going to make it to the party tomorrow?

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We are strange to begin with. Tinkers, tinkers tinkers.

I'm going to arrive a bit on the late side, say qaurter of nine or so. I will bring some 151. And we shall rejoyce.

Amen.

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Indeed. It shall be good to see you again, my dear. Indeed.

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