lithera | I. Cannot. Win.

So, I have a plan. I have a plan for sleep. Yummy, yummy sleep. I get some melatonin and take some about and hour before I want to go to sleep.

But no. Oh, freaking no. I don't get to sleep an hour later. In fact... I don't get to sleep two hours later. No, I am up until... like 2 am. Once I finally do get to sleep, things do not get any better.

No, I had one of the worst dreams I have had in years. It involved the death of my father and the play/movie The Lion in Winter, which I have never seen but know the plot of fairly well. I wake up just enough to know that I am in severe pain due to my left shoulder and that there are tears sliding down my face.

After calming down, I look at the clock and find it to be 5:30. And you know what? I can't get back to sleep. No, I just enter this strange tranced zone where I don't seem to notice the passage of time but I'm not sleeping either. So, I finally get up out of bed and start to get ready.

You know what? Once I've done that... I'm suddenly sleepy. I just can't win.

However I did receive a lovely e-mail from an unexpected source this morning and that helped, as did the lovely story of Stephen Brust. I love these books to pieces. An example below:

So, with the newly restored Empress, our heroes must get to a certain place. There are a few problems, there is an army between them and their goal who want to kill them. There is also an army behind them that is trying to find them to kill them. The situation looks pretty hopeless as they have no horses or method of transportation.

Empress: What is the situation?
Captain of the Guard: Well. It's hopeless.
Companion T: It is hopeless. And that's great. I'm looking forward to the blaze of glory.
Companion A: I must agree. Completely hopeless.
Empress looks to the silent companion questioningly.
Companion P: I disagree. Entirely.
Everyone else: Wha?
Companion P: Of course I do. For the first time in years all four of us are in the same place with the same goal. Think of what we've done in the past. I don't believe that there is anything we cannot accomplish.

It was a great moment.