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Kat: A Guide for the Lost Part 54
Oct. 23rd, 2007 09:03 amThese things have been coming up a lot recently and when I'm presented with the same things in a lot of different ways, it makes me think about it and so... Here you go.
My memory, like much else in my life is circular. If I think of something and I don't act on it soon, it will be carried along by the stream of my thoughts. Eventually it will come back. Some thoughts move faster (bills for instance) and some move much more slowly (interesting things to post on LJ, philosophies of life, birthdays...). Some things I will see once a day, some once a year, some not even that. (And that doesn't count the things that come up so often I think I /must/ have done something about them. This is where I hope people remind me that I haven't acutally accomplished whatever it is.)
When I say, "We should get together and do something" or "We should hang out" this is not me being polite. This is me seriously saying that we should hang out more. Now, I likely do not have anything specific in mind when I say this, which is why I'm not saying, "We should go bungee jump off of a bridge tomorrow" or "I saw a place that serves Haitian food. We should go there Friday." Please feel free to take the initiative and come up with something. Or say "Huh. I don't know what we should do. Let's think of something."
If you want to do something with me, do not broach it to me during the last hour and a half of a work day. I'm likely either a) entirely focused on work b) totally fried or c) both. I'm usually going to be a bit grumpy at that point. The more time I have to think about something, the more likely it is that I'm going to convince myself to do whatever it is. There are a few exceptions to this but they usually include things that happen on a schedule anyway.
Regarding dinner - If I have eaten or are cooking or something like that and you ask me out to dinner, I'm going to say no. If you ask if I'd like a beer, or to join you for conversation your chances are better. When I'm at a restaurant I feel compelled to order food. This is not a good thing for a lot of reasons (money and over eating being primary and saying you'll pay may or may not help your cause). Me saying no probably has little to do with you and a lot to do with me.
On-line chatting - I usually don't talk to people on-line unless I have something to say. I'm horrible at random idle chit-chat in person and I'm worse at it on-line. Now, I might page you with something totally random and stupid but hey, that's the way it goes some times. (My internet conversations with Holly usually start with YOU! or HEY WOMAN! and that's usually because I'm afraid she won't see it, as if larger letters had something to do with the intensity the blinking indicator blinks.)
Because of various factors in my growing up, I can go without seeing people for a long time and not notice. I know. It is horrible and I do what I can to change that but there are some times I don't have enough focus to keep all of that front of mind. It isn't that I don't love you. It is more that I built up mechanisms to stop me from emotionally bleeding out everytime someone left. This means, sometimes, I let friends drift more than I should. (And yes, I can consider myself close friends with someone I only see two or three times a year. There are some lovely people who live in Vancouver I could introduce you to who are proof enough of that.) There isn't much more I can do other than appologize and try to make more time for you but really, sometimes you'll have to let me know you miss me.
I probably should have cut this. And there will probably be a lot of "tl;dr" reactions but hey. I'm putting it out there.
My memory, like much else in my life is circular. If I think of something and I don't act on it soon, it will be carried along by the stream of my thoughts. Eventually it will come back. Some thoughts move faster (bills for instance) and some move much more slowly (interesting things to post on LJ, philosophies of life, birthdays...). Some things I will see once a day, some once a year, some not even that. (And that doesn't count the things that come up so often I think I /must/ have done something about them. This is where I hope people remind me that I haven't acutally accomplished whatever it is.)
When I say, "We should get together and do something" or "We should hang out" this is not me being polite. This is me seriously saying that we should hang out more. Now, I likely do not have anything specific in mind when I say this, which is why I'm not saying, "We should go bungee jump off of a bridge tomorrow" or "I saw a place that serves Haitian food. We should go there Friday." Please feel free to take the initiative and come up with something. Or say "Huh. I don't know what we should do. Let's think of something."
If you want to do something with me, do not broach it to me during the last hour and a half of a work day. I'm likely either a) entirely focused on work b) totally fried or c) both. I'm usually going to be a bit grumpy at that point. The more time I have to think about something, the more likely it is that I'm going to convince myself to do whatever it is. There are a few exceptions to this but they usually include things that happen on a schedule anyway.
Regarding dinner - If I have eaten or are cooking or something like that and you ask me out to dinner, I'm going to say no. If you ask if I'd like a beer, or to join you for conversation your chances are better. When I'm at a restaurant I feel compelled to order food. This is not a good thing for a lot of reasons (money and over eating being primary and saying you'll pay may or may not help your cause). Me saying no probably has little to do with you and a lot to do with me.
On-line chatting - I usually don't talk to people on-line unless I have something to say. I'm horrible at random idle chit-chat in person and I'm worse at it on-line. Now, I might page you with something totally random and stupid but hey, that's the way it goes some times. (My internet conversations with Holly usually start with YOU! or HEY WOMAN! and that's usually because I'm afraid she won't see it, as if larger letters had something to do with the intensity the blinking indicator blinks.)
Because of various factors in my growing up, I can go without seeing people for a long time and not notice. I know. It is horrible and I do what I can to change that but there are some times I don't have enough focus to keep all of that front of mind. It isn't that I don't love you. It is more that I built up mechanisms to stop me from emotionally bleeding out everytime someone left. This means, sometimes, I let friends drift more than I should. (And yes, I can consider myself close friends with someone I only see two or three times a year. There are some lovely people who live in Vancouver I could introduce you to who are proof enough of that.) There isn't much more I can do other than appologize and try to make more time for you but really, sometimes you'll have to let me know you miss me.
I probably should have cut this. And there will probably be a lot of "tl;dr" reactions but hey. I'm putting it out there.
