Hrmmm. I should keep up with this.

[lithera]

Saturday was a quick 40 minutes on the eliptical machine instead of a trainer workout because I had to get back home to pack up and run, run, run to the gorge with Sean for Sasquatch. Man, that was hard. Part of it was that it was just elipticals and I get that now but it was easier to manage time and keep my heart rate where I wanted it doing that.

Last night was hard, partially because I pushed myself super hard. Stairs suck, suck, suck but I pushed myself to do them faster than I did last time. They're just stairs, damnit. They will not defeat me. I won't let them. Just 180 stairs up and 180 stairs down. (18 up, you see...) We're starting to work on different machines and that I can do. I can do that all day long at the weights we're at. That stuff doesn't get to me nearly as much. The last bit of elipticals at the end was hard. I hit that wall again. The orange before working out helps and it helps A LOT. Thank you all for the idea but when I hit that wall, it still sucks. I hit it later and that is a blessing and a curse. There is a mental fog that comes with it, which actually helps me go for longer but it is something of a danger to be walking around a gym only sort of paying attention.

I should get on a scale.

I don't know if I'm up to that yet.

I'm starting to notice that I want to go to the gym about the same amount that I don't want to know. This is an improvement as it used to be I didn't want to go at all but I had an appointment and that is like a promise and so I had to go. Maybe I'll get to a point where I actually want to go. Hard to say at this point but I can sort of believe that that point is out there somewhere.

I also need to investigate why I want to breakdown and cry when our trainer starts talking about 'doing this for yourselves' and 'reclaiming our lives'. There is a big tangle of mess there in my head and I don't know if I'm up to trying to untangle it right now. I have a feeling this is another angle toward the 'end up a crazy old cat lady' issue and all that waits under the surface there. As well as the wonderful sabotaging fear of success.

Awesome.

Grumpy bunny girl shall cheer me up. Look, she's so cute when she's grumpy.

Comments

[arian1.livejournal.com]

Stick with it girl! YOU CAN DO EEEEEEET! :)

And stay away from the scale for at least a month, then you'll rock your socks off.

[lithera.livejournal.com]

Ehn. I have very little faith that I'll be impressed with my progress. Thank you for the good thoughts, though.

[sharkcowsheep.livejournal.com]

You know what else cheers people up?

Superhero Stitch!

(also, apparently if your workout really wipes you out, a glass of chocolate milk works better for recovery than Gatorade. I read it yesterday in a health magazine.)

[lithera.livejournal.com]

Good thing that I'm HAVING THAT TOO AFTER! I R SMRT. (Actually the people who recommended that to me are smart.)

And Superhero Stitch totally cheers people up.

[technocracygirl.livejournal.com]

That totally cheered me up.

And lithera, don't go on the scale! The scale lies, you see. All that muscle you will be putting in, it is more dense than fat. The tape measure is better, IMO.

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

I cheer with HELLO SEKHMET who will KEEEEEEL YOU

Hm, maybe not my best choice of icons...

[lithera.livejournal.com]

OH NOES!

SEKHMET I NO MEANS IT!

[moriarty6.livejournal.com]

I should get on a scale.

I don't know if I'm up to that yet.

Don't do it. You're in a process right now where the stair work and weightlifting you're doing will build muscle, which weighs more than fat, and your new & improved metabolism hasn't kicked in yet because it's too early, so even though you've almost definitely lost several pounds of fat, the scale will tell you you weigh about the same because it's been made up for by muscle. Don't be surprised if the scale actually says you've gained a couple of pounds. This is common and a good thing. It's easier to build muscle than lose fat, so it's very common to gain a few pounds before you start losing some.

I say again, ignore the scale. Like, permanently. Throw it away. The number on it means less than nothing and is utterly irrelevant to your actual progress. Measure success through performance-related goals, not arbitrary numbers you think you should hit. Go by how you feel, and what you can do.

[lithera.livejournal.com]

It is hard to ditch that idea entirely. I want to but it feels too easy, in a way.