Very strange

[lithera]

... I feel a little weird.

I can't really explain it. It is something like the aftermath of someone kicking me in the stomach or something having torn loose somewhere. That nervy sort of queasy feeling of something gone wrong but I have no idea what that might be. It will pass but until then, I'll be all squirmy and a little more paranoid than normal.

I hate that.

I'm tired because I've ben getting to sleep later than I should. I'm in a good mood and at a good energy level despite that totally bizarre feeling. Holly said she thought I looked thinner. I have no idea if this is true but I do feel better, so that's the really important part for me. I should bite the bullet and get a scale but... well. I have almost a phobia about them. They're a part of the reason I hate going to the doctor's so much. I know it is better to know than not to know but in this case... I'm not sure I can deal with the self-loathing that the number I will see will cause in me.

And I don't think I've ever said that outloud before. (And I guess I still haven't but typing it is just as good in most cases right now.)

Okay. I need to get to work now.

Comments

[pullthestars.livejournal.com]

Then don't look at a scale. This group that I'm currently going to meetings with, they say, weigh yourself once when you start, and measure all of your relevant bits (fingers, waist, arms, etc), and then don't weigh yourself again until you're done with Phase 1.

[fireballof3.livejournal.com]

What Kris said - go off inches not weight.

Or better yet, go off how clothes fit. ie. "Oh, these pants WERE tight, now they're comfy / loose!"

[lithera.livejournal.com]

I've been going by the clothing method. I should probably measure myself and go that way. It would be useful if I could turn that self-loathing into energy to do something about it.

[fireballof3.livejournal.com]

*nods*

thighs, upper arms, chest & waist are the common places to measure.