A Holly shaped hole in my life...

[lithera]

Normally when people leave... I just... tune out that they're not there anymore.

It's a really lame coping mechanism I built up for myself. I can see plenty of places in my life it is currently active. It lessens the day to day depression I feel of having these people missing. It sort of deadens me.

You'll find a lot of my coping mechanisms do that. Lessen the impact of the extreme emotions.

I'm noticing the Holly shaped hole in my life more and more. I noticed it when a job came up in the department that I know Holly would be great at.... I noticed it at Tina's bridal shower yesterday. I'm thinking of it now because she's been there for pretty much every move I've had since I've met her and she won't be for this one. I was filling out my personal references and emergency contacts for this rental application and.... I started to put her down before I realized how... futile that would be, really. There are about a billion more examples.

It's aggravating and depressing and... fitting.

I'm glad she's out there exploring things and doing new and strange things and having one of those insanely stressful but amazing experiences with Max. It is a very good thing.

I just miss her. A lot.

Comments

Sounds familiar...

[physphilo.livejournal.com]

*hug*

Re: Sounds familiar...

[lithera.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

Hey, could you send me Obie's contact info? I'd like to write him e-mail....

[natasthellama.livejournal.com]

I understand. I miss Holly and Max too. They will be back soon though.

[lithera.livejournal.com]

Will they?

The last I'd heard they were thinking about jaunting off to Japan for awhile, maybe....

[sharkcowsheep.livejournal.com]

The plan at the mo' is to come home for a few months and apply for the JET program again. If they take us, we'll be off again in nine months. If they don't, we'll have about six before we try our luck at one of the Japanese conversation schools.

Either way, we should be home somewhere in September or October.

This post is also the sweetest goddamn thing I've seen for a long time and I hope you know I've been missing my Katchan too. On Sunday I was in a bar in Itaewon and through the wall I heard a voice that I could have SWORN was you. Went to check it out and there was nobody there. Kinda spooky.

[lithera.livejournal.com]

*hugs you tightly*

Okay. I'll be looking forward to it. We were all missing you at Tina's bridal shower.