A Holly shaped hole in my life...
May. 16th, 2005 11:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
litheraNormally when people leave... I just... tune out that they're not there anymore.
It's a really lame coping mechanism I built up for myself. I can see plenty of places in my life it is currently active. It lessens the day to day depression I feel of having these people missing. It sort of deadens me.
You'll find a lot of my coping mechanisms do that. Lessen the impact of the extreme emotions.
I'm noticing the Holly shaped hole in my life more and more. I noticed it when a job came up in the department that I know Holly would be great at.... I noticed it at Tina's bridal shower yesterday. I'm thinking of it now because she's been there for pretty much every move I've had since I've met her and she won't be for this one. I was filling out my personal references and emergency contacts for this rental application and.... I started to put her down before I realized how... futile that would be, really. There are about a billion more examples.
It's aggravating and depressing and... fitting.
I'm glad she's out there exploring things and doing new and strange things and having one of those insanely stressful but amazing experiences with Max. It is a very good thing.
I just miss her. A lot.
It's a really lame coping mechanism I built up for myself. I can see plenty of places in my life it is currently active. It lessens the day to day depression I feel of having these people missing. It sort of deadens me.
You'll find a lot of my coping mechanisms do that. Lessen the impact of the extreme emotions.
I'm noticing the Holly shaped hole in my life more and more. I noticed it when a job came up in the department that I know Holly would be great at.... I noticed it at Tina's bridal shower yesterday. I'm thinking of it now because she's been there for pretty much every move I've had since I've met her and she won't be for this one. I was filling out my personal references and emergency contacts for this rental application and.... I started to put her down before I realized how... futile that would be, really. There are about a billion more examples.
It's aggravating and depressing and... fitting.
I'm glad she's out there exploring things and doing new and strange things and having one of those insanely stressful but amazing experiences with Max. It is a very good thing.
I just miss her. A lot.
