The not so amazing adventures of...
Oct. 15th, 2004 09:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
litheraYeah. So, I had more fun car adventures last night. I locked my keys in my car. Of course, I blame Adam but that's okay since he was also the solution to the problem.
So yesterday with conversations with two lovely people, I've figured out the problem I'm having really well. The solution... Well, the solution is going to take more time, I think. I'm going to continue to work on my physical health. I have a new job coming and that will be taking a lot of my mental energy over the next few months. I figure I'll have the mental energy to tackle this part of my life right around my birthday.
Let me explain a little. I could probably write pages about this but I don't really need that much. All of my confidants are distant. They've moved away physically or moved on away from me in life. These things happen and I am happy for them. I just started to realize that there was no one I talked to regularly who I didn't have to explain things to. (That's not entirely true but it is the easiest way of saying it that I've come up with yet.) I'm in a place where I feel alone but I find it difficult to invite people inside that personal wall. Where I don't want to let people deeply inside but also I fear being taken for granted. (Sometimes paranoia is a bit much to deal with.) That sums things up well enough for me. If anyone cares for more detail, I can work that.
Of course, the way my life /really/ works, means that in about a month something is going to happen and I'm going to end up dealing with all three things at the same time, which is the way it probably should be. I mean, this is life and I don't get to always pick and choose how I want things. Sometimes things just happen. That and I'll have to deal with all three things at the same time anyway. It isn't like I can just shut myself down betwen now and then. For right now, I concentrate on my health and my job and start trying to reach out to the people I want to try to bring closer. ... and try not to freak out about it. Yeah.
Either way, life looks to be interesting over the next few months.
Not that it isn't interesting now. Sometimes in the day to day, I lose sight of the fact that my life /is/ interesting and it is a good life. I just want it to be better.
So yesterday with conversations with two lovely people, I've figured out the problem I'm having really well. The solution... Well, the solution is going to take more time, I think. I'm going to continue to work on my physical health. I have a new job coming and that will be taking a lot of my mental energy over the next few months. I figure I'll have the mental energy to tackle this part of my life right around my birthday.
Let me explain a little. I could probably write pages about this but I don't really need that much. All of my confidants are distant. They've moved away physically or moved on away from me in life. These things happen and I am happy for them. I just started to realize that there was no one I talked to regularly who I didn't have to explain things to. (That's not entirely true but it is the easiest way of saying it that I've come up with yet.) I'm in a place where I feel alone but I find it difficult to invite people inside that personal wall. Where I don't want to let people deeply inside but also I fear being taken for granted. (Sometimes paranoia is a bit much to deal with.) That sums things up well enough for me. If anyone cares for more detail, I can work that.
Of course, the way my life /really/ works, means that in about a month something is going to happen and I'm going to end up dealing with all three things at the same time, which is the way it probably should be. I mean, this is life and I don't get to always pick and choose how I want things. Sometimes things just happen. That and I'll have to deal with all three things at the same time anyway. It isn't like I can just shut myself down betwen now and then. For right now, I concentrate on my health and my job and start trying to reach out to the people I want to try to bring closer. ... and try not to freak out about it. Yeah.
Either way, life looks to be interesting over the next few months.
Not that it isn't interesting now. Sometimes in the day to day, I lose sight of the fact that my life /is/ interesting and it is a good life. I just want it to be better.
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no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 09:29 am (UTC)Either that, or you'll find a lot of change in the sofa. One of the two.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 09:50 am (UTC)I'm hoping so. I feel much... clearer than I have in awhile.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 09:57 am (UTC)Change is good, as long as you keep on with it.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 10:16 am (UTC)(but that'd be gross)
anyway, there seem to be a lot of people around here (just on my flist, even) looking to form good, close bonds with good people right now. i know i've been feeling similar to what you describe up there... so let's all lean on each other and hang out lots. *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 10:21 am (UTC)Very much. Very, very much. S'why I'm trying to hook up the coffee. That and I miss Cap Hill. It seems to be going through a rough time, the last time I saw when I was there.
no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 12:11 pm (UTC):)
*innocent whistle*
NOSE!
*hides, peeks nose&eyes out...*
Re: *innocent whistle*
Date: 2004-10-20 08:09 am (UTC)