lithera | Rather amazingly..

All of my meetings today have gone well. They've amazingly curtailed how much other stuff I've been able to get done but that's to be expected.

I'm glad they've gone well because it's obvious I'm not to be trusted with anything that is critical of me the past few days. Rar, rar, rar, rar. I understand that constructive criticism is an excellent thing but over the past few days it has severly put me on edge - so much so that I've had to restrain myself from snapping at good friends for trivial things. Really trivial things.

One of these days soon I think I'm going to write a long, long post about what I'm thinking. It just takes a lot of courage for me to write up that sort of stuff. It is infinately easy for me to speak about things that have happened in the past. They're over with. It's much harder for me to talk about what I'm thinking about right now.

Especially because I can't do anything about any of it other than wait and see or wait and think some more.

I'm not good with things I can't plan for. Even when I'm being amazingly spontaneous, there are typically plans running like threads through the tapestry of the event.

Chaos in pattern and pattern in chaos, after all.