And Jeff... the god of biscuits...
Jul. 23rd, 2003 08:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
litheraSo this morning was an interesting study of the way my mind works. One th bus I saw that there is a paddle wheel boat in drydock. It's called the Empress of the North.
Instantly in my head I get, "Empress of the North. I don't know why I joined the rest of these losers. Not only do I have to do something three times as big to get noticed, but they never ask me for anything. I mean they don't even ever help out with any of my evil plans. Then when I do something amazingly evil they scoff at it because it isn't raping and pilaging. One of these days I'm going to subvert their kingdoms and take over."
There you go. A small snapshot of my brain.
As I've been packing I realize how much of other people I have in my presence most of the time. I have things from Mike all over, letters, presents and that sort of thing. Other people I have less - like I have a book from Tim. A little bear and the Stitch doll from Kris. A birthday card from Sean. A letter from Holly (though the tattoo on my shoulder is constant). The spooky I love you bear from Nathan. The scarf Lu got for me in Venice. The necklace song from Raider around the staff that Peter and Arwyn gave me. It is happy and sad to be reminded of all of these little connections to people. I'm very happy to see these physical reminders of people in my room. It also points out the people I /don't/ have anything from - no keepsakes, nothing with memories attached.
Heh. It an interesting thing. While I'd like more of those, they aren't things you can just ask people to give you. It doesn't work like that at all. They're more than presents, far more than something just bought. They're things that when I look at them I am happy.
I am in this very strange place mentally. Lots of things happening at the same time, all of them moving to slingshot me forward. Before going forward, I'm being treated to a fast forward review of the past.
Entirely fitting this music starts now.
Instantly in my head I get, "Empress of the North. I don't know why I joined the rest of these losers. Not only do I have to do something three times as big to get noticed, but they never ask me for anything. I mean they don't even ever help out with any of my evil plans. Then when I do something amazingly evil they scoff at it because it isn't raping and pilaging. One of these days I'm going to subvert their kingdoms and take over."
There you go. A small snapshot of my brain.
As I've been packing I realize how much of other people I have in my presence most of the time. I have things from Mike all over, letters, presents and that sort of thing. Other people I have less - like I have a book from Tim. A little bear and the Stitch doll from Kris. A birthday card from Sean. A letter from Holly (though the tattoo on my shoulder is constant). The spooky I love you bear from Nathan. The scarf Lu got for me in Venice. The necklace song from Raider around the staff that Peter and Arwyn gave me. It is happy and sad to be reminded of all of these little connections to people. I'm very happy to see these physical reminders of people in my room. It also points out the people I /don't/ have anything from - no keepsakes, nothing with memories attached.
Heh. It an interesting thing. While I'd like more of those, they aren't things you can just ask people to give you. It doesn't work like that at all. They're more than presents, far more than something just bought. They're things that when I look at them I am happy.
I am in this very strange place mentally. Lots of things happening at the same time, all of them moving to slingshot me forward. Before going forward, I'm being treated to a fast forward review of the past.
Entirely fitting this music starts now.
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no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 08:56 am (UTC)Woo hoo!
I wonder if I can get a date with that foxy Goddess of Croissants now..
no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 09:10 am (UTC)Thanks, love. That was great.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 09:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 09:29 am (UTC)As I wrote that I wondered if it sounded like I wanted it to sound. I'm still not sure.
Thank God! Some principles!
Date: 2003-07-23 04:02 pm (UTC)What would you consider your totem spirit BTW?
Re: Thank God! Some principles!
Date: 2003-07-23 04:14 pm (UTC)Totem spirit? Hrm. I've never really had a clear idea. I have many reactions that are cat-like, yet from time to time I get the feeling of wings and love the wind. I seem to be drawn to people who associate with younger dragons, if that means anything. In the end - I don't know.