lithera | Songs...

So, I'm not done by far but this is what I have for the moment:

This is attempted in the order they impacted my life and not the order they came out.

Early:
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious - I remember sounding out that word over and over and over again until I knew how to spell it. At least in a way that made sense to me. It's one of the first concious memories I have of singing.

8 Days a Week - This is here for a few reasons. One is, I loved the song when I was younger. I was, and still am, a huge Beatles fan. (Be you can't guess my favorite Beatles song.) I remember traveling in Michigan, near my Aunt Mary's, and this CD was playing. My sister started singing 8 Days a Month instead ... It's still funny to me.

Call Me Al - This was just one of those songs. I fell in love with Paul Simon but wouldn't get back to him again for a long, long time. I remember sitting in traffic with my father, both of us singing this song on a hot summer day.

Turn, Turn, Turn - This was the song my Aunt Kay sung (via tape recorder) at my Great Aunt Hellen's funeral. They asked me to sing but I didn't think I could manage it without falling apart and if I was going to do it, I wanted it to be perfect. I still miss her.

Paradise City - I remember knowing the lyrics to this in elementary school. We sang this on a field trip on the bus and everyone knew it. I have a memory of that in my head, crystal clear from Hawaii. I can still feel the sun...

Japan:
Don't Worry Be Happy - This is kind of funny because this marks the begining of my depression. At about here I started sliding, though it wouldn't become something obvious for a number of years.

.... I don't have a song for this yet... - I feel in love for the first time in Japan. The worst part was I didn't realize it until I was leaving. The night before I left I went over to his house to say goodbye and I realized it as I said goodbye and that if I hadn't been leaving... There might have been a chance. I don't talk about Renato much anymore.

New Kids on the Block - Pick a song. Any song. They were all the same and they all meant the same thing. I didn't like the music but everyone else did. This was my first big attempt to conform to whatever was cool with everyone else. After I left Japan I stopped trying.

This time for me is pretty much a wasteland of music since I had to listen to AFRTS all the time and they didn't play anything good.

Jr. High - High School:
Me and Julio - This is where Paul Simon comes back into my life and it was all Ed's fault. It speaks of my self esteem that when he asked me out the first time I laughed because I thought it was a funny joke.

Knights in White Satin - It is hard to explain the wash of emotions that come over me when I hear this song. It was on a mixed tape that Ed gave to me.

Life is a Highway - My friend from Japan, Mashawnia, came and visited me during the summer after she tried to commit suicide. She told me that she didn't die because I wouldn't let her. Apparently while she was unconcious she saw me standing in her way. This is a song we sang that summer.

On My Own/A Little Fall of Rain - Mashawnia introduced me to Les Miserable. It became an all consuming passion for me for a long time. These two songs also became very, very personal just a little bit of time after she introduced me to them.

Runaway Train - Mashawnia also did something else for me. She made out with my best friend. It was then that I realized my best friend... well... I'd fallen in love. Hard. This was the video on MTV when I realized it. It says profound things about the relationship Zac and I had that he would always ask me to sing it when he played it. It was one of those moments.

What's Up/Amazing - We sung these going to and from the Puyallup Fair. We sang them at the fair and made some money. I set Zac up with a girl because he said he didn't want me, though Heaven forbid anyone else try. She turned around and stabbed me in the back as many times as she could. It was a lovely few years. I can't explain the relationship with Zac to anyone, it seems, but there is a reason that I understood the sick passion in Original Sin.

Patience: Just go listen to it. Really.

Sin: Bill. This song is Bill. I thank him for introducing me to so many things, NIN being one of them. I remember the break up. I remember needing to talk to Zac but being unable to call. I remember Zac showing up on my doorstep the next morning anyway. He always knew when I needed him and he always knew where to find me.

College:
You Oughta Know: A good friend of mine (Gabe) wrote me a letter and told me that I reminded him of this song. As I was reading the letter, the song came up on MTV. It was very late at night at my grandparent's place. He was right. This was near the begining of my angry period. I was very angry.

...... And I think I'm going to stop here. I need more ... I don't know. I'll get back to the happier stuff after I get a little through college.