Lots of thoughts...

[lithera]

Been thinking about what friendship is and means the past few days, it might be a few weeks now, really. I don't know if I've come to any real conclusions yet. I know there are people I consider my friends, but some of them aren't really very friendly. It's odd that I do this and I have to wonder why. Friends should talk to each other right? Hmmmmm...

Friends grow and change as all people do. That's fair. They find new friends who may or may not get along with you.

I'm trying to talk to a few specific people and I'm not sure if they just don't like me anymore or we've drifted apart or what. You make overtures in conversation and they fall flat. They don't start conversations anymore. Most everything takes effort from your side and they never initiate contact. Is that a friendship?

I don't think so.

Yet, I'm hard pressed to actually just walk away. I mean, I love these people.

It could be that I am getting the friendship that I'm looking for and am craving more attention than that. It's a possibility, but it doesn't feel right. I'm not irrationaly jealous of people getting more attention than I am. That surge normally accompanies the insecurity that prompts me to try to get all of the attention I can.

Ah well. More thought, as I apparantly have no answer yet.

(Disclaimer: The people I am having these difficulties with are not in the Seattle area. Distance makes these things harder.)

Comments

[fireballof3.livejournal.com]

And other times, people jsut have too much going on to be able to talk much at the time.

It's happened between Ms. Zappala & myself more than once. She calls, I have no time so I kinda blow her off.

Such is life