My word of the day...

.. is lassitude. It's a very Monday sort of word, I think.

Went to the gym this morning. Need to keep doing that. I think Monday, Wednesday and Friday will be what I shoot for. Getting up so early really does make me rather tired by the time I get here to work. And, amazingly, starved. I am so hungry right now.

It's time to catch up with what I missed on Friday. Apparently there isn't too much but there has to be something out there. I mean... c'mon. Something has to have happened. Thought apparently, we didn't throw a party.

I need something to drink. I'm dehydrated from all of the cold activities, which are finally starting to die down. Blech. I hate it when my skin feels tight like this.

Commonality...

I went to the gym this morning.

I am very tired.

For some reason it is very difficult for me to find motivation to keep up the dieting and the going to the gym. It is difficult for me to find it within myself. I've been dealing with myself for so long that it is hard to bring my willpower to bear on the situation. I have an amazingly capacity to be stubborn about things. I just have a difficult time using that for the forces of good, as it were.

What's more important than self-esteem and my physical health? Well, apparently complacency, for the most part.

That's not entirely fair.

I know that isn't really true. Every time I start doing this, (which in istelf is a very depressing comment) I always end up having to fight with myself. I spent years and years getting to the point where I can accept me for who I am, accept how I look and if not be proud of it, be able to accept it. Now that I'm working on changing that, for the better, I feel as though I'm betraying all that work on self-acceptance.

I know it is just another game my mind plays with me. One of very, very many, I must say.

Looking for motivation outside of myself doesn't work very well, either. In the end, shouldn't I be doing this for myself anyway?

Unfortunately, myself is terrified of the potential results and isn't sure it wants to live in a brave new world. Still. I'm not giving up. It's hard but I'm not giving up.

There are some days, though, where it feels very tempting to just throw it all away. And I don't even really know why. It's perverse.

I would also like to take this moment to mention that sometimes people make me sad. I've gotten used to it but there is almost always something new that just makes me sigh. I want to walk up to some people and shake them and ask them how they think these things are good ideas... People get to do what they want and looking at my thoughts above... well, I prove my own point, don't I?

All the news that's fit to print... Kind of. Entertainment things.

This first, though: "Poland may reduce its commitment of forces to the war in Iraq by 40 percent by January 2005 and have all its troops out by the end of that year, Polish officials said Monday."

Simon Kinberg has been hired to write X3. He's written a lot of other scripts but none of them have come out yet. He's written the scripts for FF, Elektra, xXx2 and Mr. and Mrs. Smith. So, we'll see. Apparently he's an amazing X-men geek, though, so there is some hope there. The studio has been in "indepth" negotiations with Joss Whedon. Patrick Stewart says they're starting filming next June.

Here is the final trailer for Alexander. This movie has been pushed back until Thanksgiving and apparently it is because there is too much man nookie in it and the suits at WB are nervous. It's a rumor but it wouldn't surprise me if it were true. It seems fitting.

I think John Woo has lost it. He's writing and producing a He-Man movie. Adam Rifkin is writing. If He-man weren't associated with that combination, I'd think it sounded good...

The rumor machine is already cranking up on a sequel for Batman Begins. The script walks right up to it but apparently that's not who they'd be dealing with in the sequel. My vote would be Harvey Dent all the way.

Don't forget, Aladdin comes out on DVD tomorrow.

Apaprently J. Michael Straczynski is a fan favorite towards being a director for the Star Wars TV show. I have to say, he's the only name that's been bandied about thus far that doesn't make me cringe. He's on record as saying he thinks it would "certainly be the job of a lifetime".

And that's it for now.

Eeeeeee!

Eeeeeeee!

Mmmmmmmm.

A year. I have a year.

*sighs*

If anyone can find me the new trailer that was released in at the Tokyo Game Show 2004 this weekend, I'd be appreciative. I can't find a site that'll let me download it.