Drips and drabs

[lithera]

Cody's birthday dinner is at 8:00 at Daniel's THIS SATURDAY! I tried to get earlier but the only open times for a party of six were 5:45 and 8, so I went with 8.

Oh people of the internet, I need an idea of what to do with my hair. I cannot decide. I am just approaching that place where I want to do something to it. Mostly, I am thinking about color. I am displeased with the light brown blonde-ness that is slowly eeking more and more into my hair. So, gentle beings, what do you think? It has to be work okay but around here that isn't too stringent.

So. What else? The new trainer as the gym is killing us in a different way. We're doing less exhausting but more targeted exercises. Last night I found a machine that allows me to pop my lower back. It is an impressive thing to not have pain there. It has become almost background noise for me to have it and not to have it was truly strange. It started to tense back up within the hour but that hour was pretty sweet. He took our measurements and we're going to measure again close to the same time next month. It makes me nervous.

Also, he has me trying to eat five (or more) times a day. You'd be amazed at how hard this is to do. You need to eat to live but eating more times is... just hard. But I'm managing to do at least four time a day every day so far, if not more but man... I just hate having to actively reserve so much of my brain for this stuff.

I'm looking forward to going to Comic Con. Some part of me is dwelling on seeing some new and old people for the first time in awhile. The same thoughts as always come forward to plague me - about the way I look and all of that. I have to say I am continually frustrated and amazed at how some people think it is as easy as 'just getting off the couch' or 'stop eating so much' that will help you lose weight. I hear that stuff a lot and, ironically, from people who aren't in the greatest shape themselves. Still, it makes me angry that there are a lot of people who think this sort of thing it simple. And, sure, for some people it is. I envy them. And sure, there are a lot of things I could have done differently on the way to where I am to have changed where I ended up. It isn't like I can go back in time and tell myself to stop being a moron. It isn't like I can really ever remember a time when I was anything near skinny. I have always envied that of my sister but I'm not built that way - even starting with genetics.

There is something about realizing that almost every person I've ever met with the same hair I have has mostly the same body shape as well. Still, I am doing what I can, trying not to be crazy about it, trying not to let it wrap me up in knots all the while trying to be healthier. If I can just stay focused on being healthier and not the weight, I'll be okay. Still...

Anyway, that's a big sidetrack of fun. I need to get back to work.

Comments

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

I just hate having to actively reserve so much of my brain for this stuff.

You know, I honestly think that's the hardest part of weight loss. I mean, realistically, we all know what you have to do, on a basic level, to lose weight. You eat less, you exercise more. But they sort of never mention that it takes constant, exhausting mental work to do that day in and day out. It's *so much easier* to just throw in the towel or to say, "Fuck it," even when you know better. Combine that with the fact that it takes time to lose weight and change shape, so you're putting all this effort in and only seeing tiny results, or no immediate results, and...man, it's just *hard*.

Which is, I guess, my way of saying I have lots of sympathy, and to hang in there. *hugs*

[lithera.livejournal.com]

Yes.

I get so freaking impatient. I want to see the results of my hard work NOW. Why can't things just change? Ugh. I have to hold to the commitment and actually continually change my way of living for the rest of my life. On some level I remember that but I would really, really appreciate not having to think about it ALL THE TIME.

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

I think that's why most people gain weight back. It's why I have. I just got so tired of thinking about it, and mostly, I got it into my head that I had "won" this weight battle, and...yeah. Stopped thinking about it. And I haven't yet gotten myself to...listen again, I guess. I think about it a lot, but I find myself going, "Yeah, ok, I know perfectly well I shouldn't eat this (whatever "this" is), and...I'm going to anyway. It won't make me feel better, in fact in the longer term it'll make me feel worse..." and then I do it anyway.

Humans are *dumb*. :)

[lithera.livejournal.com]

Yes. The more I think about how we work, the more frustrated it makes me.

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

Well, we work just fine for an environment where we're on the move and hunting/collecting food constantly, and where food is likely to be scarce several months out of the year. Our physical evolution's a looooong way behind our social evolution, is all. Not that you don't know that, and not that know it HELPS any, argh! But yeah. I'm with you on that. :)

Part of my brain genuinely thinks that, y'know, if I eat too much today, I should simply *not get hungry* until next Tuesday, or however long it takes to burn off that meal and associated fat. That part of me is pretty constantly disappointed that nope, I still get hungry again a mere several hours later...

[lithera.livejournal.com]

Yes.

Between this and sleep, I'm really grumpy with how freaking inefficient we are.

[trilliumgrl.livejournal.com]

Speaking from experience - eventually at least some of it becomes habit. I probably waste more of my brain thinking about this stuff than I should, but I know that my auto habits are much better than they used to be.

[lithera.livejournal.com]

That's good to know.

[princessgeek.livejournal.com]

JOIN THE PURPLE CLUB!

[lithera.livejournal.com]

*chuckles*

I've been thinking about it. I miss that deep purpley red color.

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

I understand the 'remembering to eat X times a day' thing. The SO, when he had to change his diet, had to make a LOT of adjustments, and that was one of them. Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner... and learning to eat different foods that neither of us had tried before. It's a steep learning curve and it takes some getting used to. I think I almost had a nervous breakdown during the first two months because I was having to cook from scratch for everything and it was all entirely new recipes. But it does get easier, once you have the new routine established. It's just that initial getting used to it part that's the pain.

[lithera.livejournal.com]

I hope so. I really hope it does.

[jeditigger.livejournal.com]

I gotta agree with Rys, though...I know more about how to get rid of the weight than I do about following through. o.O I'm just now getting back into my own workout routine (which fell apart in June because of Mom), and you and Kris have been inspiring me.

[lithera.livejournal.com]

Really?

Well, what I can do to help, you know...?

This is jsut so annoying. Especially since at work sometimes I don't have time to get lunch, let alone eat more times in the day than I already do.

[seanb.livejournal.com]

Those of us in C7Y who regularly get a "2nd lunch" have actually set up a mailing list.

Personally, I've been trying to get in the habit of picking up a heap of fruit on the way to work Monday, and making the commitment that I HAVE to eat this snack food before Friday (because it will probably get nasty over the weekend).

[lithera.livejournal.com]

Fruit would help. Nuts are just not cutting it. They're good and all but... Bleh. They're dry and not nearly as entertaining.

Speaking of which....

[seanb.livejournal.com]

...yes?

[lithera.livejournal.com]

Time for eating more nuts.

They're tasty but man, sometimes, they're just really... not that good for some reason.

[seanb.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I never developed a love for nuts. Except pistachios.

[trilliumgrl.livejournal.com]

Yes, another comment. I loathe nuts plain. I found cutting them with a bit of dried fruit helps immensely. I also have gone for the super high-fiber, no processed crap granola bars (usually the basic Nature Valley or Kashi) as my 2nd breakfast. More palatable.

[lithera.livejournal.com]

*nods* Granola, I could do.

[eggies-red-dres.livejournal.com]

Your conversations with yourself are interesting and revealing of more than just you. I think lots of people are loathe to change, not least of all me who's still the same weight as if I were still carrying a child.

I appreciate your candor.

[lithera.livejournal.com]

You're welcome.