Morning...

Feb. 24th, 2005 08:34 am
[personal profile] lithera
The last thing I was expecting to hear this morning on the radio was Pavoratti. It was excellent to heard but I wasn't expecting it. They were talking about him being the possible beginings of heavy metal... and if you listen to it with that frame of mind, you can hear it in there. It's strange. I need more classical music in my life.

Of course, there are a lot of things I think I need more of in my life.

Is everyone that way?

Right now I'm cravings something and I don't know what it is and it is very ephemeral. There was an ability I had to let go and walk outside and just... exist. I think... Well, all of these things tie into living by myself. It's weird but I know they do. My excentricities don't bother me and so I let them out. Somewhere along the way I started to bottle up a lot of them around people.

I'm going to be 27 in a few weeks. That seems weird. 27 is ever so much closer to 30 than 26, if that makes sense to anyone. And thinking of myself as 30 sounds... very odd. Good thing I have a few years to get used to it, hey?

Why am I so tired this morning?

Date: 2005-02-24 04:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soquili-gitli.livejournal.com
I'll be 29 this July. You don't get much closer.

I remember when I turned 25, I bemoaned the fact that I was no longer 18-24, but instead 25-32.

Date: 2005-02-24 04:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wandelrust.livejournal.com
Of course, there are a lot of things I think I need more of in my life.

Is everyone that way?


Yup. There are so many things I'd like to do (get more chances to explore the region I'm living in, paint more, learn to play an instrument, game more, travel). I spend most of my time in the same routine, though. Which isn't bad, and I'm quite happy, but that doesn't keep me from wanting to do other things sometimes. It's a matter of overcoming that inertia and picking up those paints or that guitar gathering dust in my basement.

27 is ever so much closer to 30 than 26, if that makes sense to anyone.

Yup. 26 is still mid-twenties. 27 is late twenties. I turn 30 next year, and I'm ok with it now, but I know I'll be freaking the hell out as it gets closer.

Date: 2005-02-24 04:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lithera.livejournal.com
Yeah. You don't get much closer. It doesn't scare me turning thirty but there was a point when I was very certain I would not live this long. It is sort of ... Hmmmm. A point past which I have no ability to see currently.

Words from "Gran'pa Moe"

Date: 2005-02-24 04:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moesmith88.livejournal.com
Wow, I remember 27...vaguely. I got married, settled into my first real f/t job (Radio Shack), did my last touring show - it was my first attempt at becoming an adult.

Needless to say, it failed miserable - but, that's for another post, another time.

And, for what it's worth - 30 isn't that bad. Everyone around me made a huge deal out of it, but I was actually pretty comfortable with it. Leaving my 20's, entering that new phase, with all kinds of potential and energy ahead of me, was something I was looking forward to.

I just hope I feel the same when I hit 40...*shudder*

Date: 2005-02-24 04:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lithera.livejournal.com
Yeah. Intertia is one of those things that gets to most people. I know that I fling myself out of it from time to time. I make myself go out and do something a little bit crazy, a little bit out there... The thing is... that's become routine now.

So... I think I need something else and I don't know what.

I look at 30 and see a big blankness. I just... I've never really thought about living so long. There is a fear and a freedom in that. It's all blank out there. I just have to decide what I want to write - be it the same in and out as always or something else entirely.

By the time 30 comes around, I should be debt free, except for student loans and that will help much as well.

Date: 2005-02-24 05:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thezzyzx.livejournal.com
I'd feel for you guys more if I weren't staring 40 in the face.

Re: Words from "Gran'pa Moe"

Date: 2005-02-24 05:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lithera.livejournal.com
Heh. You're not that old. You can't be.

I don't think it will be bad... I don't know how to explain it except that I never expected to see 30. I was not the... more cheerful of individuals when I was younger and having escaped that, I just never really thought of a future beyond where I'm at right now, really. It's an interesting position.

I have this feeling in a few years, paying off my credit card debt and so on and so forth, when I'm a bit more free from those concerns, I'll make some interesting choices. Right now, though, I'm paying everything off.

Date: 2005-02-24 05:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lithera.livejournal.com
Heh. It isn't like I'm looking for sympathy or anything. I'm just... realizing it. It seems strange to be here.

Re: Words from "Gran'pa Moe"

Date: 2005-02-24 05:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moesmith88.livejournal.com
Well, for the record, I am 38 - sometimes, I feel way older.

And, there are times when I'm amazed I'm still around. Not because of any particular state of mine at any time in my life; but more due to my total lack of balance and coordination. This, combined with the medical histories on both sides of my family, had me thinking (at times) I'd not see 25.

As for paying stuff off? That's my personal pipe dream, sadly. I don't see that happening anytime soon, without a little help from the Lotto people...

Date: 2005-02-24 05:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thezzyzx.livejournal.com
It's just weird seeing people a decade younger than me already facing down what it's like to not be young.

It's kind of like that moment on Jamcruise where the survey required me to check 36-50 instead of 18-35.

If you are searching, the one trick I think is to try to find it satisfied internally if possible. I have kept my sanity through external means, and those got taken away from me.

Re: Words from "Gran'pa Moe"

Date: 2005-02-24 05:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lithera.livejournal.com
I understand that. It is easy to feel older. It's very easy to do.

Mmmmm. Yeah. I can understand that.

Date: 2005-02-24 05:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lithera.livejournal.com
I'm all about the internal solutions. I have my external support systems but for total solutions, I'm all about internal infrastructure.

Date: 2005-02-24 05:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soquili-gitli.livejournal.com
Strangely enough, I felt almost verbatim the same way.

I've started looking past 30, but I've really stopped caring much. It's another year, and I will still be who I am.

Date: 2005-02-24 06:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bloolark.livejournal.com
You can't be 27. You are permanently 23 in my brain.

That is all.

(And 27 is much older than 26, though I don't know why either.)

Date: 2005-02-24 06:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lithera.livejournal.com
We age together, my dear.

I'd like to have stayed at 23. That would have been nice in some ways.

Date: 2005-02-24 06:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] natasthellama.livejournal.com
I, too, am going to be 29 this year. The only thing for me is that my late 20s have been much better than my early 20s or my teens were. Maybe the best is yet to come.

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