This morning....
Dec. 12th, 2003 08:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
litheraWell, I woke up this morning to find that my arms didn't work. Seriously. My triceps had pretty much frozen in place. It has taken a bit of stretching and some painkillers but I can touch my fingers to my lips again. Other than that, I feel great, honestly.
You know, I've mentioned this as a possibility before. Polar switch!
I was sitting next to a teacher at the Seattle Community College this morning on the bus. We got to talking about teaching. I still have a great passion for it and would love to do it but I can look back and see that is another place where I started shoving my feelings back behind the walls. It was either seperate myself emotionally from the students or go crazy. I did some of both. There were some days I would come home and just cry. I entered this strange shell shocked place that I'm not sure I ever entirely came out of. The thing is my emotional involvement is part of what makes me a good teacher.
I'm still searching for a way to be involved with that process - of helping with growing and becoming a full person and learning. I think I missed my calling. I should have become a school councelor. (Which is, by the way, what they told me in almost all of my teaching job interviews.) I'm just not sure what I want to to about it now. It needs some thought, obviously. I like my job now that I've gotten a promotion but I can't see myself being happy with it for more than a year - year and a half further down the line.
I don't know what I want to do yet. There are some interesting options out there for me. I want to talk about them. Good thing I'm seeing Holly tonight and Mike tomorrow. Honestly, I can't think of two people better for me to see. I need more of that.
I miss having both of them within a few feet.
You know, I've mentioned this as a possibility before. Polar switch!
I was sitting next to a teacher at the Seattle Community College this morning on the bus. We got to talking about teaching. I still have a great passion for it and would love to do it but I can look back and see that is another place where I started shoving my feelings back behind the walls. It was either seperate myself emotionally from the students or go crazy. I did some of both. There were some days I would come home and just cry. I entered this strange shell shocked place that I'm not sure I ever entirely came out of. The thing is my emotional involvement is part of what makes me a good teacher.
I'm still searching for a way to be involved with that process - of helping with growing and becoming a full person and learning. I think I missed my calling. I should have become a school councelor. (Which is, by the way, what they told me in almost all of my teaching job interviews.) I'm just not sure what I want to to about it now. It needs some thought, obviously. I like my job now that I've gotten a promotion but I can't see myself being happy with it for more than a year - year and a half further down the line.
I don't know what I want to do yet. There are some interesting options out there for me. I want to talk about them. Good thing I'm seeing Holly tonight and Mike tomorrow. Honestly, I can't think of two people better for me to see. I need more of that.
I miss having both of them within a few feet.
