Apr. 25th, 2004

I feel ery strange right now and I have no idea why. If I were to try to explain how I feel odd I don't know if I really could. I see an on-line situation where I am staff and I think a friend of mine is being passive agressive and powergaming at the same freaking time. I feel a little uncertain because of needing to go into work tomorrow and knowing that my whole work world will likely go through several more loops and twists just tomorrow. I'm going to try to get up early in order to go to the gym and get in some time on the ellipticals.

I feel as though I've forgotten something very, very important. (I used to get this feeling when I forgot that a major assingment was due the next day.) I'm worried about Morla. I don't know if it is okay for him to be making all of these noises. I'm hoping it's because he's being communicative and not because he's in pain or something like that.

I should be trying to sleep now but I am too excited or energetic to do so. I feel confident and yet unattractive at the same time and I still have yet to figure that one out entirely. (Normally for me those two are linked more closely.) I feel wanted, needed and loved and yet still unloved. I am happy and yet unsatisfied.

I think I might just be going crazy. Or this could pass and I'll feel just fine when I wake up in the morning. In fact, that seems entirely likely.

I think I'll go to sleep now and test that theory. I'll let you all know in the morning.

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lithera

June 2011

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