An update....
May. 7th, 2008 12:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
litheraSo, I'm hoping to keep more specific fitness related updates here going forward. If there are enough of you that don't give a damn about it, I might be able to be convinced to put them in some sort of special grouping but that isn't really the way I blog. Most of the time I just dump information on a page and then realize that I'd talked about seventeen different things when I'd really only intended to talk about one.
Anyway - Working out.
Yesterday I went to the gym with Kris. They couldn't find the corporate program information so, they were nice enough to allow me to workout for free. They're supposed to call me back and work out costs some time today. I got on the eliptical machine and decided to do 30 minutes. I mean, I used to do like 45 to an hour on those things. I should still be able to do 30, right?
Well, yes. I can. But at the same time, I thought I was going to die the last 5 minutes. That's probably what I should feel like but it isn't comfortable and it isn't fun and I really sort of wanted to punch someone. Which, of course, is nicely channeled into finishing the last five minutes on the machine. It still isn't anything I would consider fun.
I wasn't sore when I went home, though I did notice a stiffness in my muscles. I slept really well. Perhaps a little too well, to be honest. I almost slept through turning off both of my alarms. I noticed soreness in my back and in my legs when I climb stairs, though not so much when I'm walking. I like the sleeping better. I don't so much like the coma-like state that seems to put me in.
I need to remember why it is I do this. I need reenforcement because I know myself. I get so fed up with putting so much energy and pain into something and I can't see the results. /Other people can/ but that doesn't help me. Other people tell me I look like I've lost weight when I've gained. I need something more than the number on the scale, too. It is a hard thing. Over the years that number on the scale has been terrifying and caused me to stay up nights and I've had to learn how to cope with it.... No, I need something else because it will take awhile for that number to mean anything. And with that number, I will almost always feel (especially in the beginning) that whatever decrease is there, it isn't enough. I might try pictures.
Maybe one a month.
Maybe every other month.
God, I hate photos, too.
I'll think of something but there needs to be something to keep me moving forward. The ideas that I'm making myself healthier and losing weight... After awhile you stop being able to make those ideas /mean/ anything when you've been on and off diets and talking to dieticians and nutritionists and trying to lose weight since before high school.
I've never been thin. I don't even know if that's possible. I can handle less fat. I know I can do that. A least a little bit.
Anyway - Working out.
Yesterday I went to the gym with Kris. They couldn't find the corporate program information so, they were nice enough to allow me to workout for free. They're supposed to call me back and work out costs some time today. I got on the eliptical machine and decided to do 30 minutes. I mean, I used to do like 45 to an hour on those things. I should still be able to do 30, right?
Well, yes. I can. But at the same time, I thought I was going to die the last 5 minutes. That's probably what I should feel like but it isn't comfortable and it isn't fun and I really sort of wanted to punch someone. Which, of course, is nicely channeled into finishing the last five minutes on the machine. It still isn't anything I would consider fun.
I wasn't sore when I went home, though I did notice a stiffness in my muscles. I slept really well. Perhaps a little too well, to be honest. I almost slept through turning off both of my alarms. I noticed soreness in my back and in my legs when I climb stairs, though not so much when I'm walking. I like the sleeping better. I don't so much like the coma-like state that seems to put me in.
I need to remember why it is I do this. I need reenforcement because I know myself. I get so fed up with putting so much energy and pain into something and I can't see the results. /Other people can/ but that doesn't help me. Other people tell me I look like I've lost weight when I've gained. I need something more than the number on the scale, too. It is a hard thing. Over the years that number on the scale has been terrifying and caused me to stay up nights and I've had to learn how to cope with it.... No, I need something else because it will take awhile for that number to mean anything. And with that number, I will almost always feel (especially in the beginning) that whatever decrease is there, it isn't enough. I might try pictures.
Maybe one a month.
Maybe every other month.
God, I hate photos, too.
I'll think of something but there needs to be something to keep me moving forward. The ideas that I'm making myself healthier and losing weight... After awhile you stop being able to make those ideas /mean/ anything when you've been on and off diets and talking to dieticians and nutritionists and trying to lose weight since before high school.
I've never been thin. I don't even know if that's possible. I can handle less fat. I know I can do that. A least a little bit.
