Common themes...
Jan. 18th, 2008 11:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
litheraThese things keep coming back up in my life and I wonder is there is a lesson I'm not taking from the situations that I should be taking. I've found when the same themes repeat in different situations, I'm missing something. But, I hold these things to be truths for me.
1 - I give presents to people all the time. If I were expecting presents back every single time I did this, I would be a very, very disappointed person. I give presents because I want to give them, because I believe the people I'm giving them to would benefit by them and because I like the reaction people have when they get something - especially something they weren't expecting.
2 - Just because you ask for something does not mean you're going to get it or that you are entitled to it. When you ask a question, you should always understand that the answer could actually be no. Sometimes it is shocking, sometimes it is painful but we should have all gotten used to that sort of thing before we were six. Next time a no surprises, remember not to react to that first wave of upset. People are not likely out to get you, it probably /isn't/ personal and they're probably willing to explain if you ask.
3 - In the end, most things are small potatoes. When you allow yourself to get worked up over small things, you lose. You lose patience, you lose peace of mind and if you really get going and start reacting (or worse over reacting) you could lose things that are no longer just the little things. Remember to breathe. Remember that you control yourself and your reactions. It can be a real pain in the ass not to let things get to you. Just remember that there are times it is okay (even helpful) to flip out - try to pick them well.
4 - Back to that you control yourself thing - I need to work on this more. I'm good at is in some ways and bad at it in others. If you're bored, go do something. And no, whining about it does not count. If you're tired, sleep. If you're hungry, eat. I need to work on the "If you're overweight, work out" section of this the most.
5 - Remember that not everything is about you. There are billions of people in the world and countless other living things as well. It isn't all about you or me or any single one of them. It can be difficult, since you are you and you are the only easily accessable frame of viewing the world you have. I understand. It is easiest to ground experience and relating to others completely in the self. Try to step outside once in awhile - even if it is impossible to do entirely, trying broadens the view.
6 - If something consistently makes you angry or causes you stress, please consider not doing it any longer. If it makes you angry, makes you tense, it will likely have a ripple effect. Doing something out of habit and continuing to let it bend you out of shape is doing a horrible disservice to yourself. There can be entirely valid reasons to continue on with these stresses - just remember that you are not obligated to do something that hurts you.
There are probably more of these but I'm tired, so I am going to sleep now.
1 - I give presents to people all the time. If I were expecting presents back every single time I did this, I would be a very, very disappointed person. I give presents because I want to give them, because I believe the people I'm giving them to would benefit by them and because I like the reaction people have when they get something - especially something they weren't expecting.
2 - Just because you ask for something does not mean you're going to get it or that you are entitled to it. When you ask a question, you should always understand that the answer could actually be no. Sometimes it is shocking, sometimes it is painful but we should have all gotten used to that sort of thing before we were six. Next time a no surprises, remember not to react to that first wave of upset. People are not likely out to get you, it probably /isn't/ personal and they're probably willing to explain if you ask.
3 - In the end, most things are small potatoes. When you allow yourself to get worked up over small things, you lose. You lose patience, you lose peace of mind and if you really get going and start reacting (or worse over reacting) you could lose things that are no longer just the little things. Remember to breathe. Remember that you control yourself and your reactions. It can be a real pain in the ass not to let things get to you. Just remember that there are times it is okay (even helpful) to flip out - try to pick them well.
4 - Back to that you control yourself thing - I need to work on this more. I'm good at is in some ways and bad at it in others. If you're bored, go do something. And no, whining about it does not count. If you're tired, sleep. If you're hungry, eat. I need to work on the "If you're overweight, work out" section of this the most.
5 - Remember that not everything is about you. There are billions of people in the world and countless other living things as well. It isn't all about you or me or any single one of them. It can be difficult, since you are you and you are the only easily accessable frame of viewing the world you have. I understand. It is easiest to ground experience and relating to others completely in the self. Try to step outside once in awhile - even if it is impossible to do entirely, trying broadens the view.
6 - If something consistently makes you angry or causes you stress, please consider not doing it any longer. If it makes you angry, makes you tense, it will likely have a ripple effect. Doing something out of habit and continuing to let it bend you out of shape is doing a horrible disservice to yourself. There can be entirely valid reasons to continue on with these stresses - just remember that you are not obligated to do something that hurts you.
There are probably more of these but I'm tired, so I am going to sleep now.
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no subject
Date: 2008-01-19 07:46 am (UTC)If I get one, though, I'll totally let you try out my rocket-pony, though. I promise.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-19 07:49 am (UTC)Some of these aren't as much for me about me as me about others but still being my reactions.... Yeah. I'm sure you see if from there.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-19 08:10 am (UTC)I don't know if I know exactly what you're going through, but I can see it from here. I am so happy to give you a jump and get you back on the road when you break down.
Jump START. Jump START. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway.
Validation
Date: 2008-01-19 01:03 pm (UTC)2. Disappointment sucks, but if you plan on getting through in this life, you better damned well get used to it because it happens more than satisfaction. Sometimes I feel it is not how graciously we accept a gift that defines us as people, but how we accept disappointment.
3. Been guilty of this more than I care to admit. I'm still working on the whole "take a deep breath, step back, think for a little and then reply" thing, but I am trying.
4. If you aren't going to be an active part of the solution, you don't get to bitch about it. That goes for so many things.
5. WHAT?!! SINCE WHEN??!! I have my It's All About Me card right here!! Oh wait...you have one too? Whoa. Hey, he's got one! Now wait a minute! The sun can't revolve around ALL of us! Well, son of a bitch! This means I'm not important! *gets sudden hug from someone who cares* Oh. Hee. Ok.
6. Learned this lesson not too long ago, and it kind of links back to number 4. If something you once enjoyed no longer brings you that joy, try to figure out how to repair it. If your efforts are fruitless, the time has passed for that thing...SCA, RP, boyfriends...to be a part of your life. Move on with the happy memories in your heart and find the next thing. Life is change.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-19 06:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-19 07:01 pm (UTC)Thanks.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-19 07:02 pm (UTC)Re: Validation
Date: 2008-01-19 07:07 pm (UTC)Thanks, sweetie.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-19 07:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-19 09:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-19 11:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-19 11:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-19 11:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-19 11:45 pm (UTC)So many good points there. It was good to see them all so... neatly organized and concise with all the "fat trimmed off" so to speak. So thank you. Very, very much.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-19 11:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-20 12:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-22 06:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-22 06:04 pm (UTC)Thank you for the Christmas card.