So, I'm totally tired of writin my self review. I'll crack down here in a bit and get it done but right now, I've been working on this thing for the better part of today, so I'm going to type something else for awhile. Here is a state of my tabletop characters. Mostly for my own mental sorting.

Snap - Snap is well on her way to becoming a Fae. She really doesn't care and only sees it as a bad thing because it gets in the way of the things she wants to do now and could possibly turn the people she trusts against her. She isn't really a touchy feely character and could easily slide a little further and simply not care about any of those people either. That or bring them with her.

Lesbeth - Lesbeth is strange. She's a strange combination of homicidally practical and sentimentally caring at the same time. It is a very odd mix and causes her to be a little at war with herself from time to time. I think she's very squishy inside but has learned that sort of thing gets you stabbed and so has suppressed it to an absurd point.

Fierra - Well. She's actually doing really well right now. I've been playing this character for ages and ages and this is the most solid she's felt in my head in a long time. She's also amazingly hopeless but I'm not getting into that. A whole other kettle of fish there.

Svetlana - Not sure what to say here other than I'd like to find a way to make her a little more of a heavy hitter. Right now she's all brains, which isn't a bad thing at all, but in the system we're playing in, I just feel like she's missing out on the 'grand dame of heroes' aspect of her concept. She's been around for ever, I'd like to find a way to make her hit a little harder. Or maybe harder isn't the right way of saying it. Maybe a little more effectively...?
And I really thought I wouldn't ever be asking for this because it isn't my thing.

I want a clear cut victory.

I know, I know. I am the queen of complicated and pyhrric victories. I love stories that take forever to play out and have twists and turns and complications and unforseen connections and all of those things.

In my roleplaying, though, I am having a hard time remembering when I went on a quest to save the village/town/family/world/universe and so on and such and actually did it. I can't remember the last time I didn't, even with the best intentions, make something worse in the long run. I'm tired of vague plots with a lack of drive. I'm tired of all of the shades of grey and the sort of kind of victories.

I want a victory. I don't mind sacrifices along the way. In fact, I really sort of prefer having to /work/ for it and maybe losing a person or two along the way. (Honestly, I don't think, for instance that LotR would work as well without Boromir dying.) Doing all of that generally means knowing what the hell the challenges in front of me are and what problems I need to solve.

This is not meant to be a rant against the games I'm in now because I love the games I'm in now. I enjoy well crafted worlds that I get to explore and discover, where I don't entirely have a specific set of goals. I just miss the satisfaction of an epic world saving game where I actually win.



June 2011

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